My husband is using adult chat rooms online. I don’t know why, but it just seems like a really weird thing to do. When he’s on these sites, he talks about sex a lot. I’m not sure what, exactly, he’s talking about, but I do feel uncomfortable because – well, once again – I am the wife.

My husband told me over coffee last week that he used to frequent chat rooms when he was a teenager, and he wondered if it led to his married life being so unhappy. I told him I wasn’t sure, but he looked at me and said, “I don’t do those anymore.” That was very true. When I asked him why he said that it was more of a social thing – a way to meet women.

I understand that meeting people online can be a good thing if you are alone and just want to meet someone for an hour or so. I also understand that having an affair while you’re married isn’t a good idea. But still… why? Why would my husband be doing it?

Well, one of my friends said she had the same problem. She admitted that she was chatting with her boyfriend online, and that they talked often enough that they were like best friends. I guess there’s something about the notion of “best friends” that turns some people on. For me, though, the thought of having an affair just doesn’t make sense.

I’ve asked a few of my friends who are married what they think about their husbands using chat rooms to cheat on them. Most of them said that it doesn’t really affect them. Some of them mentioned the fact that their husbands aren’t actually cheating on them – they just talk to each other a lot. Still, other people suggested that it could very well be a sign that their husband is having an affair with another woman. And that could very well be true.

My husband isn’t a bad person by any stretch of the imagination. He does spend a lot of time working late hours at his job, and he does have a difficult time sometimes – but I do feel more comfortable in my own skin now. If he wasn’t cheating on me, then why would he be chatting with other women? It just seems wrong to me.